Sunday, 18 July 2010

Cows with local accents?

I watched some comedy last night, and my favourite thing was a joke about how cows might have developed regional brummy cow, scouse cow, cockney cow, geordie cow.......If you've had a bad day then you should try making cow noises in as many different accents as possible....see how many you can come up with.
Sometimes shit happens, i am fully aware of this all to proven fact. But there appear to be some people out there who are shit magnets. i'll bet everyone has at least one friend who is accident prone and just happens to have some sort of life-altering drama on a daily basis.
For example, this is what happened to a friend of mine last week:
Monday:got sacked from her job
Tuesday:dropped a pan of boiling water on her feet
Wednesday: got a massive council tax bill AND a massive electricity bill
Thursday: Someone reversed into her car in Sainsbury's car park
Friday: the landlord called and gave her 2 week's notice to move out
Saturday: so far as i know this was ok
Sunday: Car died a slow and painful death on th M4

Is it just me or is that a bad week?

Tomorrow i start my new job search, i have barely any qualifications and still don't know what i want to be when i grow up. I'll probably end up working at Vegas chip bar or something....I'll blog tomorrow about all of the possible career choices available to me in the North Norfolk area.

Did you know what you wanted to be when you grow up? Do you know anyone who did? better still, do you know anyone who actually did become what they wanted to become? I can't think of a single person. And the older i get the more i seem to find trhat the most interesting people i meet have absolutely no idea what they will be doing from one day to the next. Never fear directionless ones........some people are born to drift x

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Edward Lear....he knew a thing or two!

The topic of my blog today is the genius of Edward Lear.
Have any of you ever had the good fortune to read his famous "Book of Nonsense" or "Nonsense Omnibus"?
Well you should! It has had me in stitches all night. When all else fails and you feel completely defeated, you should pick it up, turn to the section on Limericks and read until you're laughing, crying and completely unable to breathe.
If this fails, turn to page 471 and learn how to make Amblongus pie!
Now if these ridiculous poems and recipes fail to cheer you up even the slightest, I suggest a healthy dose of Father Ted or Absolutely Fabulous.
Today i scraped most of the skin off the top of my foot whilst moving house. It hurt a lot. So much so that i was unable to stop myself exclaiming "By the TITS of St.Agnes!" time you're in pain or are stuck in a traffic jam or something, you should open the nearest window and shout the aforementionad phrase to the heavens.......I promise it will make you feel better and put a smile on your face.
More stupidity tomorrow.

Thursday, 15 July 2010

First and Foremost!

Hi there folks, this is my first post so i'm not entirely sure what to do with it really. As you can guess from my title and my brief description, I am disaster prone. I have met and am friends with a lot of other disaster-prone people and so i feel we should set up some sort of community for mutual appreciation and support!
As for things happening in 3's.......I'm not convinced. In my experience things usually happen in 7's or 9's and with varying degrees of severity..........Is this true for everyone? You know when you are in a proper hole and think that things can't possibly get any worse......then they surpise you in the most spectacular way by getting much worse than you thought, that happens to me all the time! I have so much to be grateful for though and none of these experiences have been life-threatening to myself or anyone else connected so we may still laugh at our misfortunes!

I'm very interested to hear other people's stories of mischance and disaster........or even anyone's theories on life in general......reincarnation, punishment for deeds in a previous life etc........

Also while i'm here i want to shamelessly plug a link to my friend Chezny's page....she's crackers and completely useless but makes the prettiest handmade jewellery you'll ever see! check her out because i love her. click on her link in the sidebar xxxxxx